How Are We Thinking?
The Problem & Solution: How Are We Thinking
Today's widespread interest in self help, self development and improvement - of 'changing your life' - tends to mostly focus on the switch from negative to positive thinking, the notion that if we simply change our negative thoughts to positive thoughts, everything will be better. But is altering our thoughts, perceptions, really that simple? Is it enough? Does it truly work, and does it have a lasting impact on our lives? How effective are the current tools aimed at helping us do this? Or do we need to look more deeply at our thought processes, at how we are thinking, to find the problem, and determine which tools would be necessary to change that?
In shining a light on 'how' we are thinking, we can see the true source and mechanics of harmful thinking, and what the solution is.
There are two kinds of thinking:
Fear-based Attachment Thinking
Trust-based Reflective Thinking
In our daily life we generate and cycle between both kinds of thinking, but rarely with any control or awareness over which mindset, reaction, or rationalization we default to. Therefore, raising awareness of both kinds of thinking and their consequences helps us recognize and learn from not only what kind of thinking we are doing, but also what shows up in each one. We can then make an informed choice about which kind of thinking we want to continue to do in order to change our lives for the better and lead a more conscious, happier and fulfilling life.
The Source of the Problem
Attachment Thinking
Attachment Thinking is the source of problematic and destructive emotions and thought patterns, i.e. negative thinking. We do Attachment Thinking when we hold onto our thoughts and live our thoughts as fixed ‘real’ realities.
We create a disconnect from ourselves through holding onto our thoughts, constructing a delusional world in language like “have to”, “should” and “can't”. It is the generator of fear-based emotions such as fear, anxiety, stress, anger and resentment, resulting in thought patterns such as: “I’m not good enough”, “I don’t deserve”, “there is something wrong with me”, “I wont succeed”. Not only are these thoughts and emotions destructive, we also lose clarity and become disempowered as fear—based thinking becomes the driver for how we think, our actions and how we live our lives.
For more details on this kind of thinking, what shows up, what changes occur in our thinking and how we perceive life, please click here.
The Solution
Reflective Thinking
Reflective Thinking is trust-based thinking. Trust is our natural biological state. In this state we are calm, happy and back in the flow of life. In this state, we do not react to pressure, live in or create a destructive world for ourselves, nor generate fear-based emotions and thought patterns.
In this kind of thinking, we do not hold on, and so we do not live our thoughts as fixed realities. Instead our thoughts are just thoughts, to be used as a lens through which we can reflect and make wise, conscious and responsible choices and decisions.
In Reflective Thinking, we return back to ourselves. We are aware, conscious, responsible, authentic and genuine. Embracing the solution of learning and adopting Reflective Thinking allows us to be back in charge, and our lives change for the better.
For more details on this kind of thinking, what shows up, what changes occur in thinking and how we perceive life, please click here.
Tools for Change: Breaking The Cycle
In harnessing the solution, returning back to ourselves, our natural state, trust, and Reflective Thinking; we first need to become aware of Attachment Thinking as it is habitual and unconscious.
To learn how to become aware and break the cycle of Attachment Thinking, and return to ourselves and do Reflective Thinking, I have provided two thinking tools for change. This awareness and tools are available through my new online course, Change Your Thinking, Change Your Life. For more details on that, please click here.
There are many tools and methods that are available today, practices such as meditation and mindfulness, that are used to prevent or react to negative thinking and emotions. The aim is usually to become the observer of your thoughts and emotions, or to outright change your thoughts from negative to positive.
In my view however, many of these approaches are only temporary band-aid solutions that are only effective in the moment in which they are applied because they do not address and breakdown the source of the issue. It is habitual unconscious thinking that is the root of our problems and it is now up to us to understand where it comes from and the catalysts and mechanics that generate it. We must become aware, break the cycle and return to ourselves for a more conscious, aware, happy and fulfilled life.
“The world as we have created it is a process of our thinking. It cannot be changed without changing our thinking.”
― Albert Einstein
I am available for one on one consulting via email or phone (+64 221966928), workshops and speaking.
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